i needed time to think it over. but i don't think time can wait for me. i seriously thought that it would be over by now. but the support i get from people around me make me think that this is IT. it was really hard for me to repeat this. and if i do this again, and IF it happens that i fail again, how devastating would that be? this isn't something i want at this particular time. i am trying to build up my courage to live my own life.
can i live my own life? can i ever?
O' Allah. Please show me the right path.
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