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March 31, 2011

Wishful Thinking

Go to hell with wishful thinking.
Go to hell with fairy godmother.
Go to hell with plan further.
Go to hell with great motivation.

I shall pray for those who failed.
I shall grief for those who suffer.
I shall say sorry to those I hurt.
I shall surrender to those who conquer.

For I am not a lord,
For I am not an angel.
For I am not a perfectionist.
For I am not a minister.

I'm a normal human being with salts on my wound.
I'm a fucking bitch who suck cocks and balls.
I'm a freaking loser who kick peoples ass.
I'm a lone ranger with burdens on my shoulder.

Thanks for making me feel like this.

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

March 29, 2011

Silver Lining

What the fuck is silver lining?

Who the fuck invent silver lining?

Why the fuck is everyone hoping for a silver lining?

When the fuck does silver lining come and save your ass?

Where the fuck can you find your silver lining?

How the fuck that you believed in silver lining?

Silver lining is just an idiom, a metaphor so that you never look down and fall. It is just another fucking words to screw your life. It is just another reason for you to do thing on your own fucking way and regret it afterwards. Don't you notice that?

You don't need silver lining. Silver lining is just another bullshit to make you calm down and stop the hell of your rants. Silver lining is just another piece of crap to make you smile and keep on hoping. And hope is just another bullshit!

Stop ranting and do something to make you happy. Don't wait for silver lining to come. Because obviously, this silver lining shit is taking me away from you.

Just so you know, your life is made of pure gold and platinum.

Be careful for what you wish for, coz you might just get it.

I'm here for you friend. Just stop bullshitting.

(-_-")

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

March 20, 2011

Pendirian

Kadang kadang aku sendiri tak tahu apa yang aku up kan kat blog ni. Macam bodoh pon ada gak kadang kadang. Kenapa aku post kat blog ni walaupun aku ada twitter untuk luahkan segala harapan dan perasaan. Namun kadang kadang tak mampu rasanya untuk aku delete blog ni. Blog ni wujud sebelum twitter aku wujud. Blog ni lah tempat aku nak senaraikan segala keserabutan minda yang mencemar segala bagai perasaan hampa seribu satu yang mampu racunkan hati tulus muda tanpa memberi sebarang bakti.

Aku suka meletakkan segala macam benda dalam blog ini. Dan sejujurnya aku tak perlu follower, aku berblog untuk kemudahan diri. Supaya satu masa, segala jin ifrit dan syaitan nirrojim dalam hati tak mencalarkan iman yang semakin menipis. Bukan niat aku nak menghalau follower aku. Tapi sejujurnya, andai tak ada orang baca blog ni pun aku tak sedih. Niat aku berblog adalah kerana diary aku selalu di-pecah-baca oleh emak. Kalau disini kebarangkalian untuk emak jumpa adalah sangat rendah.

Ya, blog saya adalah umpama diary yang saya tulis saban hari untuk cerita tentang hidup saya. Malah kadang kala saya post juga foto foto terbaru bagi mencantikkan permukaan blog yang sudah sedia cantik. Saya pelacur kamera, malahan saya pelacur dimana saja. Pelacur attensi di twitter. Malah pelacur masa di faceboob. Saya juga pelacur minda di dunia. Juga pelacur hati bagi si dia yang saya cinta.

Jangan fikir setiap langkah kecil saya tidak membawa saya kehadapan. Kadang kala langkah kecil lebih membawa makna dari langkah sebesar alam. Namun masih ditakuk lama. Saya mungkin humble, tapi saya bukan serendah tanah. Saya mungkin cakap lebat, tapi saya bukan sekeji pembohong. Saya tiada masalah andai anda mahu cerobohi masa silam saya. Cuma mungkin anda patut terus terang dengan saya. Saya akan cerita semua kisah silam saya samada baik mahupun buruk.

Anda tak percaya? Sila.
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

March 9, 2011

It is not a business

It's great how I felt like moving myself out of my own life. It's great that I finally knew that one smile hides thousands tears. It's great how I suddenly felt the urge to run away from my damn history. It's great how I saw some people judge me by all the things they could only see. It's great to finally noticed that you finally had moved on, leaving me crying at the back alley of our past time.

You know who you are. Don't shed your tears if you saw me lying on the floor, breathless, lifeless. Because this is how you left me some years ago.

Great knowledge comes from a great mind. And great mind like mine is just a pathetic excuse to pretend like I know what you had in mind. Some says I don't need you to live my life. My heart says that all I need is you to tell me that my life is screwed and crooked and there is nothing that I could have change just to make sure that everything will fall on its place.

You know who you are. Don't shed your tears if you saw me lying on the floor, breathless, lifeless. Because this is how you left me some years ago.

I have a life that I thought is a happy life. A happy, independent life. But like always, my mind is just creating a gateway to get away from this whole mind fucking problems and this cock sucker. It was suppose to be a kick start to something new. It was suppose to be a great challenge for people like me, a loser who knelt down before a great majesty. Don't throw me that shit because you know one day, I'll do the same thing to you. I am no beauty, but I have dignity.

You know who you are. Don't shed your tears if you saw me lying on the floor, breathless, lifeless. Because this is how you left me some years ago.

Bring me to the horizon, I want to pee on the wall, and kills some bastards while I'm gone.

P/S: I miss you.


Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

March 2, 2011

Lost in the Subway

Where the hell did my feelings went?

I simply don't get the easiness to lose one simple thought, but it was really hard to find a new less simple thought.

I need my lust back. Lust for writing. Anyone knows where can I get it?

P/S: don't ask bout the title. I'm away for a while.

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

March 1, 2011

heaven and dream


I promise that I'll run away with you